Why You’re Not “Broken,” You’re Just Conditioned: Using Self Hypnosis for Lasting Change
- Chris Lemig
- Dec 15
- 3 min read
Stuckness is subconscious programming—not a character flaw.
If you’ve ever thought, “What is wrong with me?” because you keep repeating the same emotional loops—self-doubt, procrastination, people-pleasing, numbing out, overthinking—you’re in very good company. The problem is that our culture tends to explain these patterns as personal defects: lack of discipline, weak willpower, low self-esteem, “just being that way.”
But here’s the more accurate (and far more compassionate) truth:
You’re not broken. You’re conditioned.
Stuckness is often a learned strategy, not a life sentence
Most of what we call “being stuck” is the subconscious mind doing what it was designed to do: protect you, conserve energy, and predict what happens next based on what happened before.
The subconscious learns through repetition, reinforcement, and emotional intensity. If certain beliefs or behaviors once helped you feel safe, accepted, or in control—even if they’re painful now—your system can cling to them like it's life or death. Not because you’re flawed, but because your body-mind is loyal to old survival tools.
Examples of common conditioned “protective” patterns:
Perfectionism that once prevented criticism
People-pleasing that once minimized conflict
Avoidance that once prevented overwhelm
Overthinking that once created a sense of control
Numbing that once made pain more tolerable
These aren’t signs of weakness. They’re signs of our basic wish to be happy being squeezed under pressure.
Why willpower alone usually fails
If stuckness were purely a conscious choice, a stern talk in the mirror would have solved it years ago. (And self-help shelves would be a lot emptier.)
Willpower lives in the conscious mind: your intentions, goals, and “I should.” These are all governed by reason, logic, and thinking-based strategies. But patterns live deeper: in the subconscious mind, nervous system, emotional memory, and identity wiring. That’s why you can know what you want to do and still find yourself doing the opposite at 11:47 pm with your phone in your hand like it’s controlling you (because, in that moment, it kind of is).
To create lasting change, you need a method that works where the pattern lives.
The real question isn’t “What’s wrong with me?”
It’s: “What learned this pattern—and what is it really trying to do for me?”
That single shift changes everything.
When you treat a pattern like a moral failure, you fight yourself.When you treat it like a learned program, you can update it.
And updating it doesn’t require shame or blame. It requires skill.
How to use self-hypnosis for lasting change
This is exactly what I teach in my book, Unstuck: How to Use Self Hypnosis to Reprogram Your Subconscious for Confidence, Healing, and Lasting Change.
Self-hypnosis isn’t about being “put under.” It’s about learning to access a focused, receptive state where the subconscious becomes more responsive—so you can:
identify the hidden beliefs driving a pattern
calm the nervous system so change feels safe
reconnect with inner resources (confidence, clarity, creativity)
rewrite old associations (e.g., “risk = danger,” “needs = shame”)
create new internal habits that actually stick
In other words: you don’t bulldoze the pattern. You work with it—like a skilled guide, not an angry boss demanding better results.
A simple “Unbroken, Patterned” practice (2 minutes)
Try this the next time you notice a familiar loop:
Name it gently: “A familiar pattern of ______ is here.”
Assume positive intent: “This part of me is trying to help in some way.”
Ask one question: “What is this part really wanting to accomplish for me?”
Offer gratitude: “Thank you. I’m here now. We can choose something new.”
Take one loving action: a breath, a gentle squeeze of your shoulders, an encouraging word to yourself—anything that reminds you that you're your own best friend.
This is not about instantly “fixing” yourself. It’s about retraining your system to feel safe enough to change.
Want to go deeper?
If this resonates, you’ll love Unstuck. It’s a practical, compassionate guide to working with subconscious patterns through self-hypnosis, inner guidance, and grounded emotional healing.
And if the book helps you, I’d be grateful if you’d leave a short review—even a couple sentences. Reviews help the book reach the people who need it most (and they give Amazon the little nudge it apparently needs to believe the book exists!).
Remember: You’re not broken. You’re just conditioned. And conditioned patterns can be changed.
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